i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
