Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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