I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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