how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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