I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize