I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
