I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
