he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i out mim tonsoeep
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
