Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
