He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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