You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
