Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
