she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
