you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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