I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
