I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
