i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We are two peas in an std pod
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
