YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
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