Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
