look no pants
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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