i don't like sucking hair
I think my fart just growled at me.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The best revenge is premature balding
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize