I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
