does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
