So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
