I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
