how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Couch. On fire.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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