last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
