i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
