I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
