It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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