My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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