she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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