Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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