Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize