I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
