You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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