he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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