Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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