Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
