found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
