Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
