I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
