So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
