So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's like God shit irony all over that family
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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