My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
