i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
