i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
