Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
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