So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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