the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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