I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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