yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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