All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize