Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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