thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
