He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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