Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
