He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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