I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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