I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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