More tranny stories later!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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