You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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